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How To Stop Chasing Your Dreams and Start Living Them
By youniqorn Posted in Lifestyle, Mindset, Productivity, Time on 0 Comments 23 min read
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TL;DR

  • Visualize that you’re already where you want to be.
  • Truly understand, first and foremost, nothing, and I mean nothing will happen unless you make the decision and commitment to take action and take action consistently. That’s what living your dreams is: a consistent commitment. If you’re not ready for that, don’t bother reading further.
  • Write your dreams down. Every single day. First thing when you wake up. In your own handwriting. This has a twofold effect: reinforcing what you want and creating a continuous sense of urgency to acquire them, and filtering out noise/superficial goals/streams that you don’t actually want as much as you initially think. You’re forced to reassess what you want every single day.
  • Start. Take the first step. Do it. Now. It’s usually the hardest. Do your research/study how to do/achieve what it is you want, but don’t overwhelm yourself with information that you don’t take action. Remember, not taking action is what will keep you where you are; not living your dreams.
  • Truly understand what it will mean for you to live your dreams and the added responsibilities/challenges that will come with that. Don’t only look at the pros but also consider the cons and decide which outweighs which and if you choose to proceed, be prepared to learn how to deal with challenges of success.
  • Don’t be discouraged from dreaming outrageously. If you can think it, someone can build it.
  • Align yourself with those who have productive and constructive mindsets and attitudes. Success begets success.
  • Make mistakes to learn from them so that they don’t happen a second time and do not make mistakes you can learn from someone else.
  • Ask for help, guidance, assistance and whatever else you need along your journey. Do not be afraid to do this.
  • Never stop learning, even from those less experienced/successful than you. Hubris is a bitch.
  • Remember: you’re either living your the life you want or you aren’t. It’s ultimately up to you and the decisions you choose to make consistently that’ll determine where you will be a year from now.

  • Visualize that you are already where you want to be.

    Everything starts from the mind. Your actions are what follow your thoughts. When you think as though you’re already living the life of your dreams, you will both consciously and subconsciously do things and make decisions (macro and micro) that align with your thoughts and push you closer and closer, every single day, to the life of your dreams. For instance, instead of saying, “I want to or I’m going to make $1 million USD next year” or “I’m going to be a millionaire”, say “I make $1 million USD a year” and “I am a millionaire.” Saying things in the present tense puts you in a state of being versus wanting. Your brain processes this extremely differently and the resulting way you feel makes you more confident about your dreams and desires and pursuit of them. Suddenly, things feel a lot more within your reach. More achievable. “Fake it till you make it,” as they say. You might be playing pretend, however, this has a very real impact on your brain. Your mind is quite complex, and one of the amazing and astonishing things about it is that it cannot inherently distinguish between thoughts based on what has actually happened to you (your memories) and those centered around what has not (your wishes or fears). It will process feelings based on your dreams and fantasies the same way that it does emotions grounded in your current reality and recollections from what has transpired in your past. This is insanely powerful and you would be remiss not to take advantage of this unique adeptness and dexterity. Visualizing where you want to be and framing your desired thoughts as though they have already happened and you’re already where you want to be reinforces your dreams into your psyche in a way that makes them almost tangible. Whatever is your dream life entails (traveling the world, being a world-class ballerina, acting on Broadway, owning your own production studio or company, raising healthy kids as a hot, stay-at-home mom or housewife, having your natural hair to your ass, making partner at the law firm of your dreams, writing a New York Times best-selling book, create a blockbuster movie, etc.) visualize that you are already that person and have already achieved that/those thing(s). Visualization will allow you to become the person you want to be and the best version of your current self along the way. Success comes as a result of your mindset. Not the other way around. So, think like you’ve already won before you even start and you are sure to win.

    Truly understand, first and foremost, that nothing, and I mean nothing will happen unless you make the decision and commitment to take action—and take action consistently. That is what living your dreams is: a consistent commitment. Consistency is king and trumps everything. If you cannot commit to being consistent in life, with what you want the most out of it, you will simply not get those things or have that life. If you’re not ready to commit (which is essentially impossible to do if you don’t know what you want and, therefore, who you want to become), don’t bother reading further.

  • Write your dreams down.

    Every single day. In your own handwriting. Do it the first thing when you wake up. Dedicate a special journal for this as well as a special pen or writing tool of your choice only for this purpose and this purpose only. This has a twofold effect. Number one: it reinforces what you want on a daily basis and creates a continuous sense of urgency to acquire it. Seeing your dreams written out in front of you all the time and in your own handwriting (something unique to you and only you, as unique as your fingerprints) forces you to assess everything you say you want consistently and continuously and reinforces those desires in your mind and keeps you aware of and thinking about them consciously versus subconsciously and actively versus passively, which is what you want. And number two: writing your dreams down every day filters out noise and superficial desires and dreams that you don’t actually want as much as you initially think you do as time goes on. Since you’re forced to reassess what you want every single day, you may find that, over time, you start tweaking and changing a few things here and there and, as you gain a stronger sense of awareness of who you are and want to become, that will reflect in what you write down every day. This is a practice highly recommended on this blog and is an integral aspect of the Youniqorn lifestyle and mindset and is one of the pillars that will allow you to get everything you want this year.

  • Actually start.

    Take the first step. Do it. Just do it. Now. It’s usually the hardest, but it’s where everything begins. It doesn’t matter how or when or where you start as much as that you simply do. Of course, it is important and necessary to do your due diligence beforehand and research how to do or approach what it is you want to do or the thing you’ve been dreaming about doing, but it’s important not to overwhelm yourself with so much information that it ends up paralyzing you such that you don’t take action. Remember, not taking action is what will keep you where you are; not living your dreams. Do not fall prey to information overload and analysis paralysis. You do not have to get things perfect before you begin. As a matter of fact, “perfection” will come from actually doing, not thinking about doing or racking your brain over doing it the perfect way. In reality, there is no such thing as perfect and the perfectionist mindset and fallacy will only keep you where you are or may even bring you further away from living your dreams. If you find it difficult to start on your own or that perfectionism is holding you back from taking the first crucial step, joining a community of like-minded individuals may be just the push you need to dive in and begin. Sometimes, seeing others jumping in and taking action will create that spark in you that you need to do the same and will serve as motivation and drive to get you going.

  • Truly understand what it will mean for you to live your dreams.

    This means consciously and intentionally thinking about the added responsibilities and challenges that will come with living your dreams. It’s easy to only look at the pros and the perks. After all, it’s the positive aspects that appeal to us and cause us to want to pursue those dreams in the first place so it’s natural to want to focus on those. It’s good to focus on the pros but also consider the cons. We hardly ever look at the downsides of perceivably good things or even the downsides of success, especially when going in/in the beginning. But it’s important to take the time to do this up front so that you gain a more rounded and honest understanding of not only what you’re getting into but what you are willing to do to get there—and what you’re willing to do to stay the course when things get tough. This is also a great way to practice self-awareness and have a better understanding of yourself as the person you currently are and the individual you want to become. So, weigh both sides, pros and cons and decide which outweighs which. If you choose to proceed, be prepared to learn how to navigate the challenges of success and the responsibilities of living your dreams. This also allows you to process and be candid with yourself about your expectations. Expectations are integral to pursuing your dreams and often are the things that end up making or breaking a lot of your pursuits. When your expectations are balanced and grounded going in, you stand a lower chance of running into expectation-based disappointment because you were unrealistic about your prospects. Be openly candid with yourself about what it will take from and require of you to get to where you want to be and live the life you keep dreaming of so that dreaming isn’t all you end up doing.

  • Understand that you actually have to build the life of your dreams.

    This follows from the previous point. It’s not just going to show up out of thin air. You have to put in the time, your most valuable asset, and your energy and emotions into those dreams. You have to do so consistently. You have to commit to living your dreams. You have to commit to building your dreams. They should not exist only in your head but all around you. Only you have the capacity to know best what you want, so only you have the capacity to build it or choose the right people to help you build it. This is crucial. No one else will build the life of your dreams for you because no one else has the capacity to dream for you the way you do. Like your handwriting, your imagination is as unique as your fingerprints. No one else has the capability to see into your mind so it is truly up to you to take action. If you don’t do it, then it simply won’t happen because no one else can do it for you, even if they wanted to. In order to build the life of your dreams, you first have to build yourself. You are your number one and single best investment. You are your mind. Your mind houses your thoughts and dreams. And your life follows from those dreams. In that order. So, it begins with you. Please note: it’s not making your dreams come true that will turn you into who you want to become. It is building the person you want to be that will allow you to make your dreams come true. Remember that.

  • Don’t be discouraged from dreaming outrageously.

    Seriously. In truth, your imagination can stretch as far and wide as you allow. The only restrictions that exist within it are the ones you—and those you allow to—place on it. Your dreams are the one place and one aspect you should never ever put any restrictions on in any way. There is no right or wrong method to dream and there is no limit on the capacity of what your mind can hold and conjure. The sky is not the limit. It was never the limit. If it were, the moon landing would’ve never happened and space travel would still be unfathomable and unheard of. No, the limit isn’t the sky. Or the sun. Or the stars. The truth is, there is no limit…unless you create one. If you can think it, someone can build it. A lot of the times, we hold ourselves back because we feel like dreaming too big is greedy or asking for too much or we are led to falsely believe that we have to be modest in what we want or be content with less simply because others are or don’t have as much. Do not buy into this bullshit. These are the types of limitations society at large and those in your immediate environment (family, friends, and colleagues) will try to place on you, both intentionally and unintentionally. Some people place limitations on themselves and, by extension, those around them because they truly don’t know any better and have, unfortunately, adopted the mindset and belief that limits and restrictions on our dreams are not just natural, but even necessary and simply a part of life. Never allow the inner child with boundless curiosity inside you be stifled or jaded by other people’s limitations, regrets and insecurities. Choose, instead, to adopt the Youniqorn’s mindset and know that the truest freedom a person can have the freedom of their minds and imagination. Do not shackle yourself or confine your dreams and thoughts to the expectations and limits of those around you, especially when they are not aligned. Do not limit your dreams, do not limit your life, and do not limit yourself.
  • Align yourself with those of kindred spirit.

    That is, those who have productive and constructive mindsets and attitudes. It is exponentially easier to manifest your dreams and live them out when you have a support system that encourages, enables, and facilitates that than trying to attain them singlehandedly. It is not only more rewarding but truly a lot more enjoyable and satisfactory. Optimism begets optimism. Positivity begets positivity. Growth begets growth. Success begets success. Sharing your dreams and desires with those who share those same dreams and desires and a winner’s mindset to live those dreams greatly increases your odds of doing the same because those people, by the simple act of living their own dreams, lead by example and hold you accountable to do the same for yourself. Conversely, aligning yourself with those who have unproductive and destructive mindsets and attitudes will result in the exact opposite. They will fail, not because they didn’t succeed, but because they never even tried. And, if you are around that kind of defeatist attitude and ‘no-getters’ mindset, you will eventually start to adopt that mindset and attitude.

    One of two things happen when people are around each other consistently: they click or they clash. If you click, you become like those you are around (birds of a feather and all of that) and, if you clash, you won’t be around each other for very long, if at all. Either way, it is taxing and will never get you anywhere worthwhile. When you clash, it is draining to be around negative, toxic and defeatist people as they will sap your energy and motivation that you desperately need to be living your dreams instead of listening to them make excuses for why they aren’t—all the while encouraging you to follow suit. So, make sure you click with those you choose to be around. Remember, it is always your choice of who you allow in your space and who you share your information with. Even if you can’t cut certain people off completely (like family), you still have the power and complete choice over whether or not you share your dreams and ambitions with them. Basically, don’t.
  • Make mistakes with the purpose and intention of learning from them.

    You must learn from your mistakes so they don’t happen a second time. Do not make mistakes someone else has already gone through the trouble of making. You can learn from the mistakes of others and spare yourself from having to go through the first-hand frustration and pain of experiencing those mistakes yourself. Do not live through the pain, disappointment and delay of dreams others have faced as a result of their mistakes in pursuit of their dreams if you don’t have to. This is why it’s so important to share your dreams and be part of a community where your desires are common ground. This allows you to gain from the experiences of others, both successes and slip-ups, trials and triumphs, learning curves and growing pains, and all the micro steps in between. Mistakes can be very time and energy costly and can delay the manifestation of your dreams so it is crucial and fundamental that you learn from them so that they become steppingstones to your success and not stumbling blocks that make your journey harder. Do not make things more challenging for yourself than they need to be. Seriously. Learning from the mistakes of others is one of the best things you can do for yourself in every aspect of life and will save you so much stress, pain, and a good chunk of your most valuable asset, time. Experience is the best teacher, but there are plenty of things you can glean and understand perfectly well from the experience of someone other than yourself. The experience does not always have to be your own. Remember to write down and log your mistakes so that you remember them. It’s so easy for us to forget our mistakes, especially when we’re finally able to work through and move on from them. Emotions are fleeting so we will not remember the intensity of how we feel; the level of regret, pain, disappointment, overwhelm, etc. in the moments and immediate aftermath of our mistakes. But weeks and months and even years after that, it’s easy to forget just how much of an impact and consequence that mistake had. When you write it down in your own handwriting, you have a reference point and a memory you can look back on so you ensure that you learn from the mistake, even long after you first make it. So much of why we repeat our mistakes is because we do not remember or easily forget them. Don’t forget your mistakes and always write them down in a place you have easy access to at all times.

    Don’t be afraid to share your mistakes and stumbles with others, either. In the same way that you can benefit from the mistakes of others, you have no idea how many people you help and provide value to by being vulnerable enough to allow them to see—and learn from—your own blunders. In sharing your own errors, you also hold yourself accountable to doing better because others are aware of your performance. You will also have a greater sense of self-awareness as mistakes can be a very humbling aspect of life and show you that you don’t always know as much as you think you do and you are not always above the bullshit or beyond reproach. But it is part of the process and part of being human. Making mistakes is not the issue. Choosing not to learn from those mistakes is and will prevents you from living your dreams more than any other negative character trait. If you’re going to learn how to do one thing, learn to learn from your mistakes.
  • Ask for help, guidance, assistance and whatever else you need along your journey to live and manifest your dreams.

    This is one of the top habits of wildly successful people and is both pivotal and crucial to your success in any facet of your life. For a lot of people, this is, of course, easier said than done because a lot of us have so much trouble asking for help, for favors, and even for advice because we do not want to feel or appear weak, incompetent or incapable. Remember, growth is a temporary surrender of security so even if asking makes you feel insecure and vulnerable in a way that makes you uncomfortable, it is necessary for you to live your dreams. Please, do not be afraid to do this. Or, more practically, do not allow your fear to prevent you from doing this. Like anything else, this is a skill and a habit that you can learn. Practice until you become comfortable with it. Getting a mentor may make this a lot easier since a mentor-mentee relationship is inherently structured with this dynamic. It’s a lot more natural to ask a teacher or professor questions because that is, essentially, their job. So, it’s easier to ask a mentor for help and guidance because that is the nature and dynamic of that relationship—and the whole purpose for it—rather than asking a colleague, and sometimes even family and friends. It’s also easier to ask for help when you feel like those you’re asking are of the same mindset and on the same path/route you are (or already where you want to be) and want the same thing(s) you do. They will be better equipped to actually help you and understand your position and feelings because they have that firsthand experience themselves as opposed to somebody who isn’t. There are certain things you will not have to explain to someone of the same mind frame (which is both a huge energy saver and emotional validator) that you will to those who simply don’t get it because they do not share your dreams and are, therefore, not trying to live them. Connect with other Youniqorn S+ELLAr members (coming soon) to get help, guidance, resources, friends, support and whatever else you need so that you can start living the life of your dreams right now. Not tomorrow, now.

  • Never stop learning.

    Learn even from those less experienced and successful than you. You can learn something from pretty much everyone: what to do, what not to do, what you want, what you don’t want, who to emulate, what to toss out with the kitchen sink and ultimately learn more and more about yourself at every stage. Learn about the person you want to become. Learn about the person you need to build in order to live your dream life. Learn to dream bigger and better. Learn to do bigger and better. Never become complacent. Never rest on your laurels. Never allow yourself to plateau in your growth. Learning is a lifelong endeavor and it never stops. Learn from your kids as much as your parents. Learn from nonhuman companions as much as humans. Learn from women as much as men. And allow others the opportunity to learn from you. Lead by example and share with those who want to learn (but don’t waste your time with those who don’t). Never fool yourself into believing that attaining success and living the life of your dreams is akin to crossing a finish line and that you have “made it” once you get the things you want and, therefore, have nothing left to learn. Life has a way of humbling you— often quickly. Hubris is a bitch.
  • Lastly, remember this: you’re either living the life you want or you aren’t.

    It is truly as simple as that when it comes down to it. It is ultimately up to you and the decisions you choose to make consistently that will determine where you will be tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now and whether or not you will be living the life of your dreams. The time will pass regardless, whether you are or aren’t, whether you do or don’t. So, you might as well do. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now. Spread your pretty wings, and live your dreams.

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